Revealed : Kuchingites Do The Shittiest Things

Just want to share about the fucked up thing that Kuching people including me practise all the time. May be not all or may be not everyone, or may be it's just me and some of you and some of those below;

1. When they want to go for an appointment with their friends and they were late - they will say, "I'll be there in 5 minutes" while they are still somewhere 30 minutes away... - Friends can wait. May be light up a cigarette or two. By the time you arrive, you friend might be dead due to lung cancer.

2. Their boss went outstation for a meeting - means business. But for them, it means partayyyy! This is sooo righteous. Everybody should have 'freedom' at their work place. But beware of moles.

3. They wouldn't give way to people who wants to get in their lane in the traffic jam - they will start to curse if the person managed to get into their lane. Just a guilty pleasure thing. "Cucuk jak bang... Nyaman palak sidak skati-skati jak masuk jalan kita".

4. They buy not one, not two but three or four cars! Parking place? No problem, just squeeze it by the roadside or hey, just park it in front of the neighbour's house - they only got Kancil and Kelisa, sure go out no problem one... - Fuck You! What if I hit your car when reverse?.. sure I'm going to pay.

5. Giving direction is another thing; "Pick me up at my house at Rubber Road West". - I would verbally show my middle finger to those who give me such direction. Just imagine, for example; Rubber Road West itself has so many lanes and divided into so many junctions. So what can we do? We say back to them, "Alright, pick you up somewhere in the future or after I finished the whole chapter on Rubber Road West and the Junctions".

6. Driving 20-40km/h is one of their major specialty! We wouldn't mind if you drive that speed at 12 midnight. But please la... DON'T DRIVE THAT WAY DURING RUSH HOUR! We know that you have no where to go and what's not, but please don't act like the road is your dad's. Everybody pays their road tax too bah... Either you go faster or don't even bother to go out at all.

7. They love to spend on branded goods such as Louis Vuitton, Gucci and Prada and they only work as cashier at some supermarket. THEY ARE WELL PAID!

8. We are aware of "Don't Drink & Drive" campaign. But in this case... they drink, smash the bottle on the road, then they drive.

9. Try to wear slippers, worn out tee and a short pants to some of The Spring's outlets... the sales person wouldn't even bother to look at you. Wear some nice Hush Puppies Polo Tee and Quiksilver pants, they will follow you all around the shop and will try the best to make sure you buy more... commission maa.

10. When it comes to celebrate some festive, they don't really care what time to play the firecrackers - 1.00am? no problem...  take the lighter and fire away. There goes the car alarm, the house alarm, the dogs barking, plane passing by and baby crying. - this is what we call stupidity. Have some respect and consideration. Not everyone enjoys your firecrackers at 1.00am. We need to sleep too ok.

Alright. I guess that wraps up the post. Sorry no fancy pictures this time.

Revealed : Why People Go To The Gym? (18SX)

So, people go to the gym - of course to keep fit and stay healthy, obviously. But, some are not :) 

Some of them go to the gym so that they can eat more. It's true - been there, done that, loving it. So what?! I burn those fats at gym already so I deserve to add in more fats, alright! Next...

cloudedpawn.blogspot.com

Some of them go to the gym because Kenny Sia is there. I've seen this guy around... but never spoke to him. I am a celebrity, so I don't talk to normal people. Standard OKKAY! P/s: Kenny Sia says "Pick a finger!". Moving on... some of them go to the gym to socialise.

But, since we are Malaysian, we wouldn't speak as shown in the picture (although the picture is for illustration purposes only). We might say, "I haven't had my lunch yet. How big is a Big Mac? lawl".

Next, is the dirtiest part of why people keep on going to the gym. As for the guys, of course want to have their very  own personal guilty pleasure!

Purrrfect?!

And, the ladies would love to see some guy's cute butt... and, uh, some of the guys also would love to see some other guy's cute butt too...

And of course... some other guy's bouncing cock and balls ping pong bat and balls.

Now that you all know the real reason why people go to gym, then you should go too! There are so much things to enjoy. You can have such great time while keep fit and stay healthy.

Google Image Search Fail

I wanted to do some material search for my blog updates... So, I go to Google Image search and type in the keywords. The pictures that come out as results really bothers me!

Dude... for real?

Again, the same guy. Oh dude.. we want more of your sexy poses. Give me fierce! Rawrr

What is this? Is he a celebrity of something? Or one of the participants from America's Next Top Model... Miss J says "Hi... you need to learn how to use your curve"

So, what we've learned from this post is that, we need to be aware of the pictures that we aupload to the internet. Basically, we don't want the same case which happened to Paris Hilton, Miley Cyrus and the Cheetah Girl, happen to us as well right. 

Paris Hilton, Miley Cyrus & Cheetah Girl doing their thang

Who knows, someday your naked picture end up on the meeting table. Hello picture, bye bye job. Unless you're posing for Playboy or PETA, that's a totally different thing.

Kuching Town is Under Attack!!!

Its 2nd February the afternoon ... The road seems empty. It feels weird... stress you know!

Yeah.. looks deserted, right? I started to think that something was up.. maybe the town is under attack or something. Even the shops at my office area are closed! Me, Nurul and Audrey had to dig up rubbish bin to find something nice to eat.

I did a critical thinking and sing out Taylor Swift - Back To December while looking for answer... and I think, it's the Kardashian sisters taking over Kuching!

But then.. I found an angpao on my table. Hey, Chinese New Year is around the corner - that's why the shops are all closed and the roads are empty. 

 

Thank you Boss for making my pocket fat this month. Gong Xi very very Fat Chai to you :) Now, I am in my room... we all get early dismissal for the CNY eve... But when I arrived home, guess what happen?

Yeah... shit happens all the time. My boy neighbour is playing his drum. Give me a break will ya! (can you see the lion's head?) Anyway, to conclude this post, I would like to wish all of my Chinese friends and readers.. as well as everyone who is Chinese look alike friends - a very Happy Chinese New Year! May y'all be wealthier, healthier, fatter and chubbier!

Revealed : How Gay Wrestling Can Be? -

Oh My GaGa! How many of you here... love to watch World Wrestling Entertainment? Whip your hair now... So, no matter how gay a sport could be, we still can enjoy it right?

Oh... this is what we call "The 69"

Nice... this is "The Scissors"

Whoa.. "The Missionary"!

My favourite... "The Mid-Air Doggy Style"

i mean... LOL. do they practice wrestling by referring to Kamasutra?

Revealed : I Was an Abercrombie & Fitch Model

I was a model before. Have you guys seen my Facebook profile picture?  If not, let me show ya.

Yeah... handsome right?

Well... the picture was actually cropped out from one of my Abercrombie & Fitch 2010 Campaign for fat plus size models.

Abercrombie & Fitch 2010 - Malaysia Campaign

So what if im just bluffing?! LOL - seriously, i am still laughing when i see this picture

Revealed: "Justin Bieber Will Never Hit Puberty"

 PUBERTY? Will it ever hit J.B? Let's Yahoo! Google Translate it! 

D.I.Y. go to Google Translate and type as above. Translation English to Vietnamese. Click to enlarge

 

Alright. Copy & Paste the translation into the box. Switch translation from Vietnamese to English. Click to enlarge.

Too hard for you??? Oh come on... even Jessica Simpson can do it! So, the conclusion is: Justin Bieber will never reach puberty. Let's see what he has to say...

Cool! He's not going to hit puberty soon. Scream girls! He will stay 16 forever.... But, he did mentioned that he will be releasing a new single soon!

How cool is that? Can't wait.. GO BIEB!

Pranked : Contact List Fail

Isn't it annoying when someone you have known for a long time, suddenly text you and ask "May I know who's number is this?" Seriously, that's annoying! It's like watching Jacob fall for Edward instead of Bella... ughh. So, I decided to pull a prank on old friend.

TCS stands for Twintech College Sarawak - where I used to study before.

The funny thing is, I did sext her one night stand invitation text her Christmas wish - one month ago, and she replied me back, which means she supposedly kept my number.

See?!

I guess she must be shaking in her Manolo Blahnik slippers by now, so I decided to spill the milk all over my hot body.

She hates me... <3 <3 <3